As the weeks get further into October I have a tendency to have a few emotional episodes. I took a break from writing for a few days just to stay focused on other priorities and make sure mentally, I was okay. As much as I love hopping on my little corner of the internet and talking about all things fashion and house decor — I also like to be real. I’m a real person behind the screen with real problems and real emotions. And guess what? I’m not afraid to talk about them. We shouldn’t be afraid. I think that’s why most of you follow me along this journey.
If you’ve been a reader of mine for a while, you’d know that on this day three years ago I lost my dad. It was an unexpected and traumatic experience. It’s even hard for me to process that it’s been over 3 years since I’ve heard his voice or gotten the “u ok?” nightly text from him. Time to time again, I’ll catch myself falling into a funk on bad thoughts. It’s really the little things that kill me — knowing he’s missing out on moments of my life that he would be so proud to see. Regardless of everything, my dad loved me. I was his only daughter and he would do anything for me. I had an attitude — he would take it. We would sing in the car to old Taylor Swift on a regular basis. He was a total goofball and I miss that.
My dad never got to see me graduate college. He never saw me move out into my first place. He wasn’t here when I went through my first heartbreak. He’ll never be able to walk me down the aisle. He’ll never meet my future husband. He’ll never get to be a grandpa. Thinking about these things break my heart. It truly fills me with so much sadness because he deserved these things in life.
However, I have many memories with him that’ll cherish forever and that’s what I need to remember on my bad days. It’s what we all need to remember on our bad days. When you lose someone you’ll have a wave of different emotions that will hit you out of nowhere. They don’t make sense and they can and will hit you like a wall of bricks. We all have different ways of coping with pain. It’s completely normal.
I didn’t plan on losing my dad at the age of twenty-one, but then again, no one plans that… do they? My best coping mechanism is to talk about it because it shouldn’t be such a taboo subject. People pass and it’s okay to talk about the fights you had with them. It’s okay to talk about regrets you feel. It’s okay to laugh about a stupid thing they did. It’s okay to bring them up in casual conversation. The door is open and I want anyone reading these to feel free to talk about it.
When I talk about the passing or any of the other struggles I’ve endeared in life, I have so many of you who message me. I have people sharing their stories with me and how they go through it — or how they still struggle. Let’s use social media for something good — like keeping it real. All the time. I’m not the only girl who has lost a parent too young — let’s help one another.
So here’s my yearly reminder to hug your loved ones and love them, regardless of their mistakes. Accept their flaws. Appreciate the small things. Don’t hold onto anger, it’s pointless.
Well, friends. That’s all for today’s post. My thankfulness for your support is endless. Don’t forget to leave links to your blogs and instas, as I would love to check them out and follow you all and connect more. As always, feel free to shoot me a message with blog requests, to chat, or share a simple comment. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts to you guys now and always.
“I’m so glad I live in a word where there are Octobers”